Reparenting Your Inner Child: Creating Inner Safety for Sensitive Women
For many deeply caring, highly sensitive women, developing a sense of inner safety is not just a luxury — it's a necessity. If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by seemingly small events or noticed yourself reacting more intensely than you "should," chances are your inner child is calling out for care, recognition, and healing.
One of the most powerful and compassionate ways to cultivate lasting safety within is through reparenting your inner child — the part of you that still holds the emotional residue of unmet needs, early wounding, and survival strategies learned in childhood. This part often drives our biggest emotional reactions, especially when relationships trigger old fears of abandonment, rejection, or being "too much."
Why Reparenting Matters
Many of us didn’t get the emotional attunement and nurturing we needed as children — not because our parents didn’t love us, but because they were human. They may have been stressed, emotionally unavailable, or operating from their own unhealed patterns. Even with the best intentions, no parent can meet every need.
As sensitive children, we often picked up on more — subtle moods, emotional tension, unsaid expectations — and learned to adapt quickly. For some, that meant becoming the caregiver, peacemaker, or “the good girl.” This role helped us survive, but it often silenced the parts of us that needed support, self-expression, and emotional safety.
Now, as adults, it’s up to us to give those younger parts what they didn’t receive. That’s the essence of reparenting.
A Real-Life Example: Kelly’s Story
Let’s take Kelly*. She had been dating someone new for a few months. After opening up emotionally and crying during a phone call to him, he didn’t contact her the next day like she expected. She felt anxious, frozen, and ashamed. Her mind spiraled with stories: I was too vulnerable, He doesn’t care, I’ve ruined everything. Her instinct was to run.
But instead of reacting, Kelly reached out for support. In our session, we discovered that her reaction wasn’t about her boyfriend — it was her inner child, triggered by a familiar sense of abandonment. A much younger part of her had resurfaced, one that still believed being vulnerable meant being left.
We worked through a process that allowed Kelly to soothe this part of herself. She realized it wasn’t her partner’s job to parent her — it was hers. With this awareness, she was able to call him later, not from fear, but from grounded self-connection. Their conversation went well, and Kelly expressed her need for reassurance. She also recognized that her expectations had been shaped by old wounds, not present reality.
* Permission gained and name/actual details changed to protect privacy
What This Has to Do With Good Girl Syndrome
For women healing from the Good Girl Syndrome, reparenting can be especially crucial. Good girls are trained to suppress their needs, be overly self-reliant, and prioritize others' comfort above their own. They were often the “parentified” children — the ones who took on responsibility for a parent’s emotional well-being, sometimes even before they could speak their own truth.
This means their inner child never really had a chance to be a child. She learned to perform, please, and perfect instead of express, feel, and receive.
As we begin to challenge the Good Girl pattern, that inner child often re-emerges — sometimes with full force. She may feel scared, angry, needy, or wildly reactive. And she needs care, not control. She needs witnessing, not silencing. She needs you — the adult you are now — to listen, hold space, and meet her with compassion.
Reparenting becomes a vital step in building emotional resilience and a true sense of inner safety that doesn’t depend on others’ reactions or validation.
What Reparenting Can Look Like Day to Day
Reparenting doesn’t have to be complicated or dramatic. It’s often small, intentional moments of care:
Placing a hand on your heart and saying: “I’m here. I’ve got you.”
Writing a letter to your younger self
Checking in with yourself when you feel reactive: “What do I need right now?”
Letting your emotions be seen and heard — by you
Creating space to feel instead of fix
This kind of inner relationship is how we begin to feel safe being ourselves — not because others approve, but because we’re finally showing up for the parts of us that were left behind.
💛 Ready to Break Free and Reclaim Yourself?
If you’re a deeply caring, sensitive woman who feels stuck in over-giving, people-pleasing, or emotional burnout — the BREAK FREE Workshop is your perfect first step.
In this one-hour live session, you’ll explore the deeper “Good Girl” pattern that’s been quietly running your life and learn the 6-step SERENE Pathway to begin gently breaking free. You’ll walk away with clarity, tools, and a sense of possibility — plus a bonus workbook and lifetime replay access.
💸 NZ$29 | 🧘♀️ Replay included | ✨ Enroll now
🌱 Want to Go Even Deeper?
The Free to Be Me group programme is an 8-week, live online experience designed to help you find and free the real you — so you can live life on your terms.
You’ll learn how to:
Cultivate safety from within so you no longer need to seek approval
Unpack your unique childhood conditioning and release emotional suppression
Navigate conflict, guilt, and boundaries with more ease
Deepen self-compassion and learn to witness (not judge) yourself
Express your needs and make decisions with clarity and confidence
Each week includes somatic and creative therapy practices, nervous system tools, and powerful group connection — all within a safe and intimate container of like-minded women.
🧘♀️ Small group (max 8 women)
🌀 $897 investment
📆 Next round date TBA
✨ Join the priority waitlist to be the first to know when it opens — and receive a special offer.
Best Wishes
Joanne
Joanne Deaker is a Somatic & Arts Therapist who specializes in helping highly sensitive, deeply caring women break free from the Good Girl Syndrome — a debilitating pattern of overgiving.
With training in both somatic therapy and in arts therapy, Joanne combines creative and body-based tools with deep personal experience to guide women in reconnecting with their true selves.
Having lived through some major life transitions, Joanne understands what it feels like to be lost and disconnected. She’s walked the path of recovery from Good Girl Syndrome herself, and now helps others reclaim their time, energy, and sense of self.