This is a message for those who have been through relationship break ups or endings with partners or maybe family members or friends they were once close too. It’s one that resonates with me and that I reminded myself of regularly when I processed the end of my own long term relationship…
Love does not just go away. It is okay (perhaps even healthy) to still hold love for someone when a relationship ends, although this is with the proviso of having it balanced with STRONG boundaries including an awareness as to why that relationship ended. Hating someone, I believe is a bit like the post I did about holding a grudge… it tends to just poison us and potentially have no to little effect on the other apart from potentially inflaming things.
I reiterate that we do still need to create and hold our boundaries. This may include ‘no contact’ as we’re likely to be very fragile early on and feeling strong emotions that can quickly become overwhelming, so creating a sense of safety within ourselves is crucial and more easily done when at a distance from the other. We also have no control over the other and where they may be at, so it’s important to be mindful of protecting ourselves.
Having been through a long term relationship break up I have the lived experience as well as the therapy training to help others in similar situations. If you are in need of support after a relationship breakdown and if working with me resonates, book yourself a free 30 minute zoom call here so we can have a chat about how I might be able to help you.
Wishing you well in this crazy human life.